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Voir ailleurs

dimanche 24 avril 2016

Quand un gamin décide de partir, d'aller voir ailleurs s'il y est, il arrive que des questions surgissent : avez-vous des nouvelles ? Où est-il ? Que devient-il ? Celui qui interroge l'a peut-être croisé lors d'une visite, a compris qu'il vivait là, l'a vu dans la cour occupé à couper du bois, profiter du soleil, vendre ses pâtisseries au petit marché, servir un plat au restaurant.
La question véritable ne tarde pas : comment, tu ne sais pas ? En effet. Parce la première question est sans intérêt. Qu'en faire ? La question du devenir est absurde : on devient toujours autre. Et de toute façon, on n'a pas de nouvelles, on n'en cherche pas.
C'est pareil quand le gamin arrive. Certes, son dossier existe. Il relate des anecdotes, des analyses d'un passé dont nous ignorons tout. On en prend acte, mais ce sont des histoires étrangères : autres lieux, autres vies. Le premier travail est photographique : révéler l'image, deviner les lignes, les lumières, les ombres qui apparaissent peu à peu. Zones floues. Détails. En même temps se dessine un quotidien : se lever, manger, agir, être. Saluer les moutons, marcher, fendre le bois, peindre, ranger sa chambre, construire un étagère, laver le linge. Trouver un coutumier, un rythme qui accorde son tempérament au lieu qu'on habite, naviguer entre les bancs de sable de l'ennui et la tempête du désir instantané. Le téléphone portable, et par extension, tous les outils de la modernité qui ouvrent un portail sur les mondes virtuels contrarie ce travail. Perversion de l'immanence annoncée, promise, ils ouvrent le désir de l'ailleurs, nourrissent la nostalgie du passé : vieilles photos, messages anciens, promesse et attente de réponses futures. Ils empêchent d'être là, d'être ici, d'être à soi. Au présent, il y a une solitude, écouteur sur l'oreille, œil sur l'écran, absente.
On écarte donc l'objet, car c'est ici et maintenant qu'il s'agit de vivre. L'objectif premier, chaque matin, c'est une journée heureuse. Les ingrédients ? Une tartine et de la soupe, une promenade, un agneau nouveau né, un arbre à planter. Plus tard on pourra élargir les horizons : renouer avec l'école, se rendre utiles chez le fermier voisin, apprendre à conduire le tracteur. Avoir hâte, pourquoi pas, de passer son permis : projection future née d'une vie au présent. Rêver d'autonomie, d'un appartement. Et donc, accepter le rappel : il est temps de laver ton linge.
La boucle ramène au point de départ : arrive aussi un jour le désir de partir. Le boulot consiste à vérifier que le futur que tu imagines (revenir dans une institution où on a le téléphone, la télévision, de nouveaux vêtements, des contacts avec la famille…) est bien aussi sûr que tu ne penses. C'est le travail du doute, la pensée sceptique : de quoi puis-je être certain ? Je connais ce que je quitte, j'ignore beaucoup de là où j'irai. De quoi mon bonheur se nourrit-il ? Vérifier, puis entendre la réponse.
Et le métier : travailler avec celui qui choisit de rester, laisser partir sereinement celui qui aspire au départ. Celui-là, on ne sait pas ce qu'il devient : il est ailleurs.
A celui qui reste, on dit : il est tard, va te coucher, demain est un autre jour.